The COVID 19 HYPOCRISY
Hypocrisy in its best form
This is not about encouraging hate or stating that the virus may or may not exist and definitely not encouraging going against the government regulations that are put in place in order to reduce the impact, this is more of an observational side of the reality of the situation that we are facing, in Malaysia, we have been “forcefully jailed” staying at home since March 2020, and this is impacting a lot of us mentally and killing that bird that wants to fly free. In the meantime, the various messages from the government announcements have been collated and put together in the following perspective that is a bit funny to be honest, so now going into humoristic part of the story,
The virus which goes by the name of C-19 is apparently the smartest of all the other viruses that is out there, looking at what the government announced, the virus does not impact people gatherings at weddings or funerals unless there is a certain amount of those that gathered, wedding more than 15 and you get infected vs funerals of more than 30, how does the virus know how to count and know whether the gathering relating to funeral or wedding? Does the virus act upon the happiness and compassion depending on the situation that it got pushed into?
Awkward situation in the mid of 2020 has occurred when the restaurants, pubs, bars and other entertainment were allowed to be open, but until 10 p.m. Isn’t it amazing that the virus would know the time of when the person is most vulnerable, probably because of the excessive consumination (although not a real world, I love using it)of the liquor and after 10 p.m. it will attack at its own full force.
In the case of pubs, for some reason, the virus is not as lenient towards the patrons as those that are allowed to gather at other events as mentioned above, so for that period of time it was only allowed to have a gathering of 5 people only, meaning that if you have accidently met your mate, cannot invite him/her to the table as the 6th as now you will in the target range of the virus. What is the virus’ calculator? Why funerals can only have 30, Weddings 15, and pub crawl is at 5 ?
What do we have so far? the virus can calculate, it knows the difference between the occasions of why the gatherings have occurred, it also know that if you consume alcohol after 10 p.m. you are more vulnerable but it only applies if you have behaved it only in the pub, bars or other areas, where if it was part of the wedding or funeral it wont affect you at all.
Masks do work, that's why people will be fined for not wearing them, but not in pubs, because as already discovered, the virus doesn't infect pub goers until after 10pm. You can also safely remove your mask at a crowded eating place cause the Virus is polite and won't attack when you are eating. But don't remove your mask before food is served, as the Virus will attack if it sees you without mask and not eating or drinking.
Cinemas, gyms, etc are also immune from the virus coz the virus can't afford cinema tickets or gym memberships. It also doesn't like travelling in boats, so crowding on boat express is safe when you travel across the sea from an island to island. The Virus will be seasick and cannot harm anyone on the crowded boats.
Schools where kids gather in large groups are also immune as the virus doesn't like learning. So you are safe without mask in the school, but those same large groups of kids can't meet up outside of school because that's when the virus will get them as it waits outside the school gates. Since the 4th Quarter of course this situation has changed and the kids were briefly allowed back at school just to find out that the masks were not sufficient but the face shield will protect from the smart virus. Now imagine yourself, in a class with 20 odd kids sitting 0.5 meters away from each other and everyone is with the face shield. what an entertaining memory it has.
We have of course went into the full lockdown and the education is currently done via zoom and trying to teach the kids at home and support the teachers as much as we can as parents.
The elderly should be isolated and protected from the virus unless they are needed to babysit their grandchildren. So grandparents can't see their grandkids socially as it's not safe, but can babysit them because the virus knows the difference between wanting to see grandkids because you love and miss them (which the virus hates) and having to see your grandkids out of obligation (which the virus is fine with). The virus will definitely get at you at home too if you meet up with family and friends in a controlled environment, but not in a pub where you can meet up with those same family and friends in an environment you can't control with many other strangers... well at least up to 10pm anyway.
The virus also sticks to specific postcodes, this is why some areas have stricter rules than others. And once you cross the border, the virus will not follow you. The Virus attacks those who do not queue for public transportation, so you see everyone practices social distancing and queue. But once inside the Buses and commuter trains, then you are fine to be crowded because the Virus won't attack as it hates travelling in crowded public vehicles. Remember sea sickness on a boat? The same rule applies to flying, apparently it also hates to fly!
But once you get off the crowded public vehicles, then you are not safe again in private vehicles and cannot travel in the same car because the Virus doesn't like those not from same address travelling together in private cars. Oh, and political gatherings are perfectly fine in large groups regardless of any rules. Because the Ministers sets the rules, and the Virus obeys the rules. It's OK not to quarantine if the Minister says so and the Virus will look for other victims.
Prisoners are fine to be crowded and since they are in prison, the Virus doesn't like criminals, so they are easily infected and social distancing is not important for prisoners. If it's a big rich, fancy restaurant, you can sit as many people to a table, and fill all the tables but if it's a local small café, you only can sit two to a table, and every alternate table is to be empty.
The Virus cannot afford to enter those posh restaurants. It only dislikes the poor and attacks if more than two are at a café table. But if you are only two or single person, the Virus will avoid you. It sees you as lonely and so will also avoid you. It's ok to let photographers and Reporters to mingle and have in bodily contact when reporting news of Ministers as the Virus knows the Ministers make the rules. But it is not ok if those same reporters are together after the Ministers leave.
Then 2021 comes in and the new years hope for the best arrives in people’s hearts thinking that the 2020 was a survival mode and the new year will bring a bit of positivity. The announcement on the first day of the year was quite clear, if you have kids stay home, if you have wedding, its ok travel to it and get married, if you have funeral it is also ok, it is definitely not ok to go to parks or train yourself, if you use taxi, only 2 people at the time and now its dropping to 1 person at a time, you are not allowed to leave more than 2 people from the same “address” if you want to go shopping and the shopping is only allowed between the certain hours, you are allowed for the massive upcoming new year celebration but then you will go back into a full lockdown and sit where you supposed to sit…
Bizarrely interesting, if you own a cafe, restaurant, or other hospitality business, it is ok for you to open up for business but only takeaways not allowed to let the patrons sit inside. If you have construction or a construction worker, it is definitely ok to be out in the sun (average daily temperature in Malaysia is 38 Celcius). Virus does not like the construction workers, blue collar workers as it respects them as hard workers but if you are office worker, you are the main virus spreader so stay home!!!
What is the hope? oh yeah the vaccine, to those that did not catch the virus give us permission to shoot you with the virus directly into your body to help your “immune” system develop anti bodies, and we hope you wont die as our economy has struggled for a year now and we need those tax payers to be alive …
